Goddamnit, I have to address this topic today. I have to get it out.
These questions have been posed by many and left answered and unanswered by many.
(Bisexuality is when a person has romantic and sexual attractions towards people of both genders.
Polyamory is when a person chooses to indulge in consensual romantic or sexual relations with more than one person. Or non-monogamy, in easier terms.)
These questions give me the willies. I have friends who are bisexuals. I have had phases where I’ve questioned my own sexuality too. So, these little doubts hit me a little harder than they should.
1: Is it weird that I have feelings for a bisexual person? Does that mean I’m not straight?
Gender and sex is so highly overrated now-a-days, it’s insane. How big of a difference does it really make? Wouldn’t you rather focus on how silly or overrated the concept of love is? (This is a topic for another rainy day.)
I believe that love or like or crushes are very liberal. So should the society be. Does it really matter if the person is gay or straight or monogamous or polyamorous as long as he/she makes you happy?
I’ve never heard of a person coming up to their friends and saying, “Man, I think I’m falling for that chick because she has the greatest *ladypart* ever!”
No. You fall for the person because they’re smart, funny, cute, intelligent, witty, quick. Their personality pulls you in. So how does it matter? You fall in love with an individual; the gender is just a side dish.
2: I’m always worried that my bisexual boyfriend is going to cheat on me with a guy. Help?
Your partner cheating on you is possibly the biggest worry every individual on this planet has. No matter how chill you are, or how laid back your relationships are, this is a real and present reason for worry in your mind. How does it matter whether your boyfriend cheats on you with a girl or a guy? If he’s going to cheat, he’s going to cheat. Shouldn’t that fact that he’d betray your trust bother you more than the possibility that he might do it with another gender?
3: Does the fact that my girlfriend is a bisexual have anything to do with her not wanting to commit to me?
One of the major issues that people have with dating bisexuals is that they feel like the bisexual individual wouldn’t commit to them because they bat for both teams. Which is stupid, really. Unless the person is also polyamorous, or has working, functional relationships with other people on a consensual basis, the fear of them not committing to you shouldn’t cross your mind. Just because they have the options, doesn’t mean they’re going to cheat on you or not want to commit to you to keep their options open.
And if a bisexual, monogamous person isn’t committing to you, it’s probably because of you. Just saying.
4: Are all bisexual individuals full-time investors in polyamory?
It is vexing when someone thinks being bisexual and being polyamorous is mutually inclusive. But that is really just a massive misconception. It’s not true that all bisexuals are polyamorous. Polyamory has got nothing to do with your choice of gender.
Bisexuals, or rather any kind of people on the planet can be monogamous or polyamorous. The rules are not set in stone.
So, clear your misconceptions and let’s be a lot more liberal and tolerant towards new options.
If there are any other questions regarding these topics, do ask. I’ll be happy to answer anyone. More and more people should be informed of the difference between the two.