I’d like to have an alter ego and she’d be awesome!

It’s a famous concept, one where the shy nerd from school slowly blossoms into this not-so-not-popular kid in college.

Whether or not it is to be believed, I wouldn’t know. But it’s a concept. And I have known it to be true for me, except for one glitch. Sometimes, I don’t like me. At all. At those times, I sit with a mug of coffee warming my hands, and the grey matter flowing pretty freely. At those times, I think about having an alter ego.

Now, I’d like to have an alter ego.

And she’d be awesome but…

I chose the field of media against the wishes of my family, which in India is the most disgraceful thing you can do. They curse your cows for that kind of shit.

On a serious note though, it was never a field my mum approved for me. It was an abomination; a field to be chosen if and when engineering or medical colleges don’t give a rat’s ass about you.

But my alter ego has her shit together. She is doing something that her mum wanted her to do. Something that her family can say out loud without flinching. She is studying pre-med, preferably.

She has her grades in order. She has the choice of universities she’d like to study at in a proper list, complete with the pre-requisites.

She has already started hunting on Craigslist for good roommates to live with at university.

She doesn’t believe in the concept of procrastination. She strongly believes in saving, be it money or energy.

She gets up quite early in the morning everyday and goes for a jog. Eats healthy, sleeps early, doesn’t drink.

She knows exactly the kind of job she wants and she will get it. She knows exactly how much money she’ll make, that being one of the major reasons for her to take up medicine as a career.

She knows friends only bring you down and waste your time. She prefers books.

Travel is over-rated for her. What’s the point, really? Why would you voluntarily want to meet idiots from all the places in the world?

Comic books, movies, sitcoms, music? Soul food? Bullshit strategies to stack the green, everyone knows that.

She knows how to say no and she does it more often than anything. She knows what’s good for her and what’s absolutely horrendous. She has control over her life and her fate.

I’d like to have an alter ego and she’d be awesome.

But she wouldn’t really be living. Because, figment of imagination or not, she’d just be a prop on the planet. Because, all those mistakes, all those choices, all those right-action-wrong-timing things make up a person, be it the shy nerd from school or the not-so-not-popular kid from college.

Because, in retrospect, mistakes and choices are the same thing.

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