(This is inspired by Robin Williams, bless the man’s soul. He battled with depression for a long time; before he finally gave in. There are millions around the world, going through the exact same thing. And they don’t deserve it. )
I am alone. Doesn’t mean I am weak.
But it does too.
Don’t trash me because I don’t smile. Be the reason I’m moved to.
You don’t know what I’ve been through.
You don’t know why I drive the razor deeper into my skin.
You don’t know why I enjoy it.
You don’t know how persistent my inner demons are. You don’t know how my darkness enjoys my pain.
Don’t judge me to the point where I prefer my demons, my darkness to you, who cut me bloodless every single day.
Don’t walk away from me next time you see me.
Stay back. Chat a little. Make me feel needed.
I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want my memories to be the reason I want to give up, to give in.
I don’t want to be one of those short stories on the fourth or fifth page of a newspaper; forgiven, forgotten..
I don’t want to disappoint my family, who believes in me.
Be the one who makes me want to smile again.
Be the one who fights my inner demons, my darkness with love and a smile.
Be the one who makes me want to live again.
Don’t label me as ‘depressed’.
Don’t label me as ‘needs help’.
Don’t label me.
Give me a name. A reason to live. A reason to continue hoping. A reason to not cut myself. A reason to not bleed and love it.
Give me a reason because I am sick of my demons. Of my darkness. Because she’s a bitch.
And I’m not.