Hell, as Sartre said, is other people.
This particular genius of a line I read somewhere just pincushioned me with inspiration. And hatred. Super strong feelings of hatred.
Today was a weird day, what with me catching up with an old friend from my junior college. We met after almost 2 years. The first question that pounced out of her mouth was, “Soooo, you dating someone?”
I frowned in disappointment and said, “No, why, does it matter?”
“No,” she said, smiling smugly, “I just figured you’d have found at least someone by now. I mean, I did. You know that they say.. Age isn’t just a number.” She guffawed like an idiot.
As you might’ve guessed, I did end up saying sayonara after a short, short while.
I sat there, waiting for my train, and pondering over her words.
I was a few months short of turning 20 now. And I had never had a serious relationship ever in my life.
I thought of all my friends, and was annoyed by the fact that they had all fallen in love, and stolen their first love kisses, being all mushy and crap.
And I had never had that.
As I sat muttering to myself, I noticed a cute guy looking at me from a few feet away. He seemed like a decent guy from a good family, and he stood there, smiling faintly at me, never looking away.
I looked down, blushing slightly, tucking a stray of loose hair behind my hair, trying to fix my stupid face in an attempt to…do something. I don’t even know what.
A few more seconds of dilly-dallying later, I found him staggering over towards me. I shifted in my seat, sitting up straight like mum had taught me.
He sat down beside me and said a deep, “Hey.”
“Hi.” I responded with a smile.
“Have we met before?” he asked, smiling, but a confused expression in his eyes.
I rolled my eyes inwardly at the line. Seriously?
Well, beggars aren’t choosers, now are they?
“I don’t know. Why?” I asked, smiling brightly.
Just then, a girl waltzed up to him, ruffling his hair and said, “Ready to go, babe?”
My smile fell for a second, before sticking it back up.
“Yea babe, I just need a minute.” The guy answered and turned to me.
Lifting a finger to my face, he questioned, “You were in *** classes?”
I almost smacked myself. Of course, he was a guy from my classes.
“Yes, I was. You were too, huh?” I said, forcing myself to smile.
“Yea! Well, I have to go! Good seeing you!” he said, smiling widely before leaving with his girlfriend.
I waved at them for a second before bringing my hand down on my face with a loud smack, easily attracting the weirded out looks of the people around. What an idiot, I thought to and about myself.
As I sat there, calming myself down, I thought about how moronic my behavior had been.
I realized how wrong my friend from junior college was. Just because I am 20 didn’t mean I should’ve already met the love of my life. It doesn’t mean, I should’ve already fallen in love at least once.
It just means I have so much more to do and experience and that too with a mature outlook and a sane sense of making decisions, unlike people who fell in love in their teens.
It just means I’m on the right track.
As far as love goes, I stand by the words of the wise Denise from P.S. I Love You, “He’s out there. He’s just with the wrong women.”