Roomie Conditions..

Things a guy should do so as to be a girl’s roommate:

• Be a great cook.
• Be non-creepy.
• Be kind.
• Help with dishes.
• Give great massages.
• Have a decent fashion sense.
• Don’t pick up random chicks at the bar.
• Don’t do things on the couch. That is the communal couch.
• Don’t get only beer. Wine is a major requirement.
• Be able to be comfortable enough to run down to the nearest store to grab tampons for her when she is on her cycle.
• Be sweet to her when she is pmsing.
• Always, ALWAYS leave little chunks of chicken in her chicken soup when she sick.
• Be a dog lover.
• Be a reader.
• Be clean when it comes to socks and underwear.
• Be odorless.
• Have a great smile. Visiting friends shouldn’t be grossed out.
• Be tall enough to reach for the high stuff.
• Always, ALWAYS look out for her, even if it means getting hit. In the nuts. Repeatedly.
• Be a movie watcher.
• Be someone who can survive chick flicks.
• Never ever try to make a move on her.
• Always share the condoms when she needs them.
• Never judge if she picks up random guys at the bar.
• Be a prankster but only if she gets to do the pranks.
• Be able to distinguish between your razors and hers.
• Be able to compliment every stupid streak and haircut of hers.
• Drool in the sweet way at every fugly dress.
• Be protective.
• In short, be the guy she wants to date but also be prepared to be seen as the ‘big protective brother’.

Things a girl should do so as to be a guy’s roommate:
• Be sexy.
• Be lazy.
• Watch football.
• Drink beer.
• Have burping contests.


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